Having a boring day at the office or at uni, daydreaming about which bars or nightclubs you will be heading to this weekend? If so here is a few bar and nightclub jokes to break up the mediocrity of the daily grind.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 5 double shots.The bartender, a little surprised lines up the glasses and pours them out, assuming his mates are just round the corner. The man, calm as a coma, knocks each shot back.
The bartenders, amazed by this feat of drinking turns to the man and goes “that’s a big effort.” The man replies “you would drink quickly too if you had what I’ve got.” Curiously the bartender asks “what have you got mate.”
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink and asks the bartender how much? The bartender replies “no charge”
A man after having 27 drinks at a nightclub decides to head home, grabs his car keys and heads to the car park. Struggling to walk, he finally gets to his car, takes him 3 goes to get the keys into the ignition, reverses into the car park wall and drives straight through the boom gate. Realising his wife is at home waiting for him, a decides to drive as fast as possible, swerving across the road erratically.
A police car see’s this and pulls him over. The copper asks the man “mate do you know how fast you were going?” The man replies “How the f… would I know, I’ve just had 27 drinks.”